AMCN Twisty Bits

Published on October 27th, 2011 | by Boris

THANKS, SIMO. THE PLEASURE WAS ALL OURS

It was utterly heart-wrenching to see Marco Simoncelli killed during the Malaysian Grand Prix. He was a towering talent and his racing had given me and thousands of other MotoGP fans immense amounts of pleasure to behold. His passing was certainly tragic, but was it really necessary for his death to be so cheapened and smeared by the smugly clueless and imbecilic garbage vomited forth by one Jill Singer at the Herald-Sun fishwrapper?

Apparently, it was for poor ol’ Jill. The vapid hack just couldn’t help hammering out a few hundred words of badly-written cock, masquerading as an “opinion piece”, accusing me and people like me who enjoy MotoGP of being ghouls smeared with the blood of the dead. One would imagine that any attempt to create an opinion piece would be contingent upon having an informed opinion about the subject. But this is not the case with Jilly, whose opinion is so abysmally uninformed as to render her piece fit for the nothing but the efficacious disposal of rancid chicken organs.

Her vacuous crap can be found on the Herald-Sun’s web page (www.heraldsun.com.au), but if you can’t be bothered, I shall address some of Jilly’s mewling suppositions here. And who knows, maybe one day, I’ll be granted the opportunity to voice my concerns to her face.

So Jilly begins her inane rant with questions I will happily answer for her, since she obviously lacks the wit to work them out herself…

“How is it that so many motorsports fans seem shocked when drivers and riders are killed on the racetrack?”

Jilly, Jilly, Jilly…there is nothing about my shock that needs the qualifier “seems”. I am honestly shocked when I see a much-loved racer die before my eyes. I don’t know about you, Jilly, but I cannot fake my feelings about that. I would imagine that my fellow MotoGP fans are just as honest. I know you would like me to state that we only go to these events in the vain hope we’ll witness the death and maiming of the competitors, but I can’t say that because it’s just not the truth. If you had a functioning brain you would realise that, but since you don’t have one of those, I am not at all surprised by your tut-tutting.

“What do they really expect from high-speed, close-proximity racing?”

Well, Jilly, I really expect to be thrilled by the otherworldly skills on display. I expect feats of bravery and daring and displays of consummate talent that will forever elude me and my humble skill-set – even as I enjoy the revulsion I now hold you in.

“And why do they think that both participants as well as spectators at some events sign waiver forms acknowledging the risk to their lives?”

You’re really stupid, aren’t you, Jilly? Spectacularly so, in fact. People sign the waivers you describe because the retarded safety-nannies who rule our world demand these waivers be signed before a motorsport event takes place. Why do you imagine these waivers are signed, Jilly? For shits and giggles? Motorsport is dangerous. No argument. Big-wave surfing is dangerous. Hell, swimming itself is dangerous and water in all its many incarnations and with all the many-fanged life forms account for more fatalities than any form of motorsport you could mention. Ask the crazy surfing bastards the WA sharks have been feasting on in the last few weeks how many waivers they signed before crawling into the Indian Ocean. Living life wrapped in a government-mandated safety cocoon and posting their idiocy on Facebook might suit some sad creatures, but that’s not any kind of “life” that I would wish to lead. But you’re certainly welcome to, Jilly.

“Whether it was the premature and gruesome deaths of Marco Simoncelli, Dan Wheldon, Daijiro Kato, Shoya Tomizawa, Roland Ratzenberger or Ayrton Senna, public reaction to this legitimised form of road carnage follows a trajectory that smacks of denial.”

The only “denial” I see here, Jilly, is your denial of life – or whatever pathetic trajectory your clearly sad existence might take. As for “legitimised road carnage” – well, if you need me to explain to you the difference between a road and a racetrack, then just put your hand up.

“It’s as though supporters can’t face up to their complicity in how these young men came to die. They try to rationalise their dangerous thrill-seeking by saying the men died doing what they loved – and in the next breath they talk of “tragedy” and their disbelief when someone dies.”

Really? So in your dim little world, my enjoyment of MotoGP makes me complicit in the tragic death of a racer? Or are you saying that it’s not at all tragic when one of them dies? Or is it both? You’re so wretchedly vacuous you make an empty toilet bowl look like a sage.

There’s a few more paragraphs Jilly typed trying to justify her position, but space and overwhelming nausea precludes me from going through any more of her nonsense. So let me just leave her with my informed opinion:

Piss off, Jilly. You make me sick. Get back into your safe little padded box and stop pretending like you have a valid opinion about things you lack the wit to comprehend.

 

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About the Author

is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.



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