Published on April 6th, 2015 | by Boris
RHOK JEANS – LET THERE BE RHOK
I have, over the years, offered myself up as a model for various items of clothing. Think Jennifer Hawkins but with testicles, tattoos and shorter hair.
I then write about my experiences with this clothing and the importer/manufacturer then hires thugs to kill me, or buys me a beer the next time we catch up.
This happens because I tend not to bullshit about things.
And few thugs are sent to kill me these days, primarily because a) there’s not a lot of crap on the market; and b) what crap there is, is easily identified be being placed in cheap-arse supermarkets and snapped up by L- and P-platers with no money.
Good motorcycle gear is really easy to identify.
It’s not cheap. You very much get what you pay for.
And so we come to Kevlar jeans – of which there are many brands, and most of which I have worn at one time or another. I do, in fact, have an almost new pair right here, worn just once, with a Joe Rocket label on them, which I will give you for free. Let them tear away at your soft inner-thigh meat. They will never again gouge at mine.
For me to like Kevlar jeans – and I do some big miles in them, on all sorts of bikes and therefore in all sorts of riding positions – they have to be comfortable. Beyond all else, they cannot shit me, and pinch me, and gnaw on me. I don’t even wanna know I have them on.
Secondly, and importantly I guess, because we are all so safety-minded these days, they have to mitigate any injuries I might sustain if I fall off. I tend not to fall off, but it’s nice to know that if I do, the pants I’m wearing might lend a hand.
Now understand that no article of passive safety equipment – for m the finest kangaroo leathers to the cheapest Kevlar jeans will be any good to you in terms of crush injuries. Broken bones and pulverised organs will happen no matter what you’re wearing. What the gear we wear tries to do, is mitigate friction injuries and gravel rash.
And Kevlar jeans are OK at this. They’re not as good as leather, but they’re about the same as the textile stuff in terms of abrasion resistance.
Except when they ride up your leg as you’re sliding down the road because they’re all loose and flappy. Then they’re not so good.
Anyway, all that aside, I stand before you to sing the manifold praises of Rhok jeans.
I have never worn better. These are, hands-down, the most comfortable pair of Kevlar jeans I’ve ever poured myself into. It’s as if the material has been chewed unto velvety softness by giggling virgins.
I slept in the bloody things. They feel like a pair of soft flannel pyjamas, but without the stifling, sweaty-balls shit you get after a few hours.
But you wanna hear about protection, right? The comfort of my balls is as nothing to you, isn’t it?
WHAT’S SPECIAL ABOUT RHOK JEANS?
Firstly, Rhok uses the highest-quality spinning techniques on its Aramid and Ethylene fibers. The resultant material has the highest breaking point for a yarn and is unsurpassed in tensile strength. It also boasts very low moisture absorption, a very low friction co-efficient, is highly resistant to corrosive materials, and is unaffected in terms of strength and performance if you get it wet. Wash after wash, the material retains its integrity.
And quite importantly, the Kevlar is one big piece, not a series of stitch-together off-cuts.
The manufacturer states that its materials are independently tested by third party labs.
Now all of this occurs inside the jeans. Outside this goodness are the actual jeans, made from 13-ounce stretch denim. All the major impact points have been triple-stitched and all the jeans come with CE-approved knee and hip armour. What’s really cool is that the armour can be inserted and removed externally. You do not have to take your pants off to do it.
I also like the cut very much.
Someone has put thought into this. Someone who is shaped like a man who rides motorcycles.
The bottom of the pant-legs are snug around your boots, so they won’t flap or ride up as you ride. Men do not have child-bearing hips, but they have external plumbing, so the jeans are cut accordingly. There’s room for the largest tackle and they don’t pinch even if you have to bend yourself into a racing crouch.
Happily, they do NOT come in cheerful camouflage colours so beloved of some riders. You people not over those clown-pants yet? Seriously?
Outstanding, high-quality piece of motorcycle kit that comes in slimming black or panty-wetting blue.
The Gen Fours are $175, plus $15 for express postage.
The Gen Threes which use regular 300gsm Dupont Kevlar are $135, plus $15 for express postage.
You cannot get them in shops. They only exist on-line. Do not spin out about the fitting. If you’re a 36 in normal jeans like Levis, then you’ll be a 36 in Rhoks.
Marinko – 0403 538447
Tell him Borrie at Bike Me! sent you.
buy them HERE.
Or look HERE.