Published on April 22nd, 2014 | by Boris
MAN FRIDAY – 2014 BANKSTOWN BIKE SHOW
I long ago lost the stress of what to do on Good Friday.
I’ve not been a church-goer for more than 40 years.
The pubs are all closed.
The Highway Patrol and its double-demerit-points feeding frenzy causes an excess build-up of bile in my sweetmeats.
Thus I give thanks to Hard’n’Fast Promotions for its annual Bankstown Bike Show – which has always ticked every box any bloke ever needs ticked on the holiest day of the year.
Let me show you…
A gourmet-selection of some of the best custom bikes in the country to salve thine eyes with glory?
Yes – and there was even some dusty, patina-kissed vintage stuff if that took your fancy. But some of the custom builds were just stunning.
Hot babes with jiggly boobies, short skirts and high heels for you to gaze in base lust upon?
Yep. Entire herds of them. And in a variety of shapes, sizes and hair-styles. There were even competitions to stack them in order of lusciousness, for its own sake.
Feats of strength, where mighty men did violent and brutal things to each other in a controlled environment, or who contended upon the dirt oval of speed-battle emitting clouds of methanol and spite?
Shit hell verily yes! Not only were there warriors dressed in armour smashing the crap out of each other with edged weapons, there was wrestling, weight-lifting and heaps of stunting, flat-track and super-motard excellentness.
Frosty beverages to slake one’s thirst and the seared meat of dead beasts to quell one’s hunger?
In vast abundance so that your arteries could be shown who was boss and how he rolled on a high holy day.
And there was me. Broken, crippled and limping about the place like a kicked dog.
Still, since it was the first day after I smacked the car that I could button up a pair of jeans, I was a happy kicked dog.
I caught up as I do each time I go, with old mates. And as the years go by we congratulate ourselves on still being around. We compare scars. We do a lot of rueful smiling.
And rueful smiling is still smiling.
And there needs to be more of that on long weekends.
Hard’n’Fast Promotions have the day down pat. The show is a miracle of organisation and logistics, and each year, as new things are added to the mix, I’m sure the equation grows even more complex. I would extend my gratitude to the blokes for their hospitality.