Dear George Dear George 27.3.17

Published on March 27th, 2017 | by Gigi

“Dear George, I really should send you the Email I just got from Matthias in Germany”

Dear George,

I really should send you the Email I just got from Matthias in Germany.

But you don’t know any German swear-words, so it would be pointless. And I cannot risk being hit by all the broken shisha pipes and busted chairs I see being hurled out of the smashed window of your motorhome.

Eleventh, George? Seriously? Eleventh? It wasn’t raining.

I know you said it was. Franco and Loris even drove out and looked in case it was actually raining on the corners where you said it was, but they couldn’t see any rain.

And no, I do not think finishing in 11th after starting in 12th is a “great improvement” and that you need a trophy for “Bravest, Best and Fairest”. And no, we’re not making up a sash for you to wear that says “Here is the Butter, putas!”

Jonas Fucking Folger beat you. Alex Rins beat you. Sure, it was their first ever race on a MotoGP bike, so it’s maybe like you say “Beginner’s Luck”.

But Scott Redding and Jack Miller also beat you. And you don’t even know who they are, even though you’ve been racing them for a while.

Jesus fucken Christ, George. Even Asparagus A managed to haul his shitty Aprilia into sixth, which you would not have seen because you were in 11th.

I’m thinking you’ll be racing with those boys a lot this year. Which is why Matthias is so upset. He could have bought all of them, and Zarco, and given them all Ducatis and harems full of prostitutes for what he’s paying you to come 11th.

Now keep the noise down. We have to go and have a few wines with Dovi. He came second. He is so happy and really quite pretty in his bridesmaid’s dress. He even led the race for a while.

But that “Spanish traitor-puta” as you call him, won.

No, you don’t want to know who came third. Trust me.

We’re going to Argentina next, George. Yes, it does suck to be you at the moment.

Always hopeful,

Gigi.

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