THE PIRGLIMAGE 2010 - III

Bubba: Funniest poster on Two Wheel forum, but this not saying much. However, he a man anyone would want to share jail cell with.

So begin incredible night of mayhem. Actually, just 12:30 in afternoon, but the way everyone drinking, should be at least 2am. I joined by such ingrate as the Baron, Syd, Rare White Ape, who spend several day in Sydney to wash Scramble dish, Mr Oddjob who is true craftsman at art of Tim Tam, and meet other like JJ, Nathan, Big Dog and Oldgriffo who I always assume is really old, but really not, only middle age. Beau and Ems show up, Beau immediately proposition me with threesome cos desperate, but Ems squawk something and immediately obey meekly cos pussy whip. Very hilarious.

Beau: Hungry for affection.

I never been to true event until I join BIKE ME!, but this because I previously no life. Now like Buddhist, reincarnate with better friend. Sofala home to about seven local, all of whom materiarise to check out yearly biker action. I squat by roadside like beggar where this gentleman soon join me to roll smoke and seem interest in making conversation. But I soon realise he probably just never seen Asian before.

Apparently there no Dragon Ball Z in Sofala yet. I thinking, maybe I got chance of getting raid this weekend!

Sun dip slowly in sky in what is probably second last warm day before winter come to destroy us all. With dying afternoon ray come rogue Victorian, two large bald men, Island Mick and Jonesy. They are few from Southern Clan who not bitching out of making long ride to Sofala. We all angry they so late, miss out on a lot of good drinking and as much ribbing as condom.

Jonesy: Big fat party animal

As day melt into dusk, everyone become bolder. Well, except for pussy, who don’t do burnout and just disappear to camp site to hide their pussy shame. Some people not as pussy, do burnout to be badarse, but actually do so many times until just become nuisance! Like this guy on white Boulevarde, his Boulevarde so white, I don’t understand why anyone buy white Boulevarde! Almost as bad as buy white FZ6N with pink stripe, or gay looking Ducati, or drive in car to Pilgrimage and sleep in hotel room like me.

Guy on white Boulevarde cause ruckus.

As I always say, night doesn’t end until crowd break out in violence because I try to pick fight. There no Samoan bouncer in sight to antagonise, unless Borrie count as Samoan, so I brandish fist at Keld and stick out paltry chest and call him insulting name until he crash tackle me to ground and dig boot and elbow into kidney and other soft squishy visceral bit. Other people grab glass and join in because they opportunist full of race hate. I also say, night not good one unless I pissing blood for following week. This definitely good one.

Kel sinks the sripper

Eventually temperature fall to match atmosphere between Ems and Scrambles, and similarly, have undesired effect of people putting on more clothing instead of taking off. Even Quolly keep shirt on for time being. It is time to vamoose to camp site, so everyone pack up what booze they can into shirtfront where make chest go nippy, and fire up motor bike.