1986 BMW R80RT

by Rockster

It was a quick ride. Just once around the block is usually enough to get a reasonable feel of a machine. I wasn't very impressed, as it just would not accelerate fast and I felt as if my sphincter was being vibrated up past my uvula. I handed the key to the R65 back to Mr Dunn, pretended to cough on some phlegm and I was totally confused how he and so many other riders could be such fans of such a diesel like, poor performing, bone shaking motorcycle.

A few years later and with a lot of rally touring kilometres under my Belstaffs, a light flickered on in my mind. Had I actually missed something about this legendry, long living boxer motorcycle that many of the hardcore tourers I knew were riding and raving about? On tour they were never far behind. Most times they would be up in front leading the way, and no matter how far we travelled they always arrived fresh and ready to party as if they had only travelled to the local store. It was inevitable that I was going to revisit this famous long distance touring motorcycle and discover why they were so popular with so many touring riders.

Mongo, an old rallying mate of mine was parting with his trusty R80RT so he could purchase a new R100GSPD. This time I did three trips around the block, and with a more upright riding position, a full "vacuum creating" fairing for protection and Rolf Harris's "Stairway to Heaven" playing through the twin stereo speakers, I was sold. I then knew this ugly, but very practical and sensible motorcycle would grow on me and it wasn't long before I realised I had a very capable and reliable escape machine.

I didn't have a family then and I soon realised I could go anywhere, anytime without concern or mechanical doubt. Many times I did. This German engineered motorcycle was built solid, reliable and comfortable, put together the way only Krauts can build motorcycles. It had Staintune pipes running off a H-pipe below, a Koni rear shock and shaved cylinder heads. Maintenance was no longer a chore, it proved easy, so easy I probably over maintained it, if only to gain that intimate shed time with my Boxer. This odd looking bike would even change direction well and believe me or not, on a tight and twisting bike road it would surprise many a sports machine.

No, it wasn't very powerful. Momentum was my best friend. Plan your entry speed, select a gear, turn, power, and let those wonderful Staintune pipes howl, but don't back off or you would then have to start all over again.

I did at least 140,000km on this bike. I am not quite sure as the odometer eventually cried "Uncle". Yet this bike had been around the clock once already before I owned it. I had purchased it sometime after it had received its first set of rings and a cam chain. I still remember stopping for a smoke just metres north of the Hawkesbury River Bridge when it showed all the zeros for the second time in its happy life.

Sure we had our share of problems. That infamous gearbox output bearing disintegrated on a return trip from Mt Hope. None of my mates nor I knew what was making that grinding sound as we came into Bathurst. When we reached my mate's workshop at Tuggerah three hours later he told me I wasn't going to be riding my bike home.

Still, with the box disassembled, the gears inside appeared as new. There was also a driveshaft universal bearing glitch following this and a new switch block required at some stage, yet in the many kilometres we covered I only needed to replace the cam chain once. That's the thing with riding a BMW, they are so over engineered and low stressed it can become competitive with your fellow Beemer riding mates about who's machine has done the highest mileage, and how long you can stretch out the engine's components. You will ride them just to do the kilometres, and because you know you can.

After five years of ownership the fairing was hastily removed one grey, very wet afternoon riding home from work along the Old Pacific Hwy. The bike would then be re-assembled in a naked guise, wearing a rather trick looking rainbow paintjob, topped off with a lilac pearl. I parted with the R80 about two years later, returning to a short period on a Japanese sportsbike and an old Yamaha outfit. I didn't regain that trusting relationship of man and machine nor that good feeling of being able to go anywhere, anytime. I also revisited those late nights in the shed enduring many a split knuckle performing, "not so squeezy" maintenance where my hands plainly did not fit.

So when it was time for my new dream machine there was really no competition, I wanted a bike I would be motivated to climb aboard and ride away alone, would be content to spend time at the legal speed, looked horn and gave me that go anywhere, anytime feeling again. I would then acquire my second Boxer, an R1150R Rockster.