BMW R1200R
By Klink
Achtung Beardy-Weirdies!
There was a time when I considered that on reaching 50, one's life was over. Not any more. I used to think that anyone who rode a large naked BMW like an R80, R90 or R100 could be guaranteed to smell of urine, have a pipe and beard, and wear a set of Belstaffs covered in Ulysses and rally badges. Not any more.
I could no longer afford to have my perceptions coloured by the caricatures of the herd. If you're young and dumb enough, perhaps you can afford to live by the opinions of smirking dullards who use conformity in place of intellect. I could not; I would be 49 in August.
So I bought an R1200R.
To be sure, it is not your granddad's BMW. The recent K bikes, including the stonking K1200R (owned by our own Piet Baird) have removed some of the senescent stigma from the brand. The current boxer engine range (known as "hexheads") include the fabulously successful GS1200, which finally lost some lard and grew some muscle.
I rode a GS1200 a couple of times. Unlike some real hard men, and a much larger number of wannabe Kenobis, it is not for me. On the dirt I am not Miles Davis. I am a screaming moll. And I have no intention of giving anyone the idea that I think I look like Obi-Wan or Boorman. But I did have a regard for it. I liked that it had retained all the traditional BMW virtues of originality, quality and extreme longevity, while losing the worst of the traditional flaws: being stodgy, over-weight and under-powered.
I was waiting for the R1200R. When they arrived in Procycles in Hornsby earlier this year, I had two test rides from the ever-patient Pete Lucas. By then it was final. I had to own one. Long-term forum readers will recall my advocacy of the Buell. For those who like twins that really handle, the Buell remains a solid option. But for me the scorecard looked like this:
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BMW R1200R
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Buell XB12SS
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Power
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10
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8
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Weight
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10
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10
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Handling
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10
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7
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Fuelling
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10
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8
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Brakes
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10
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8
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Comfort
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10
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6
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Maintenance
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7
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10
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Touring
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10
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7
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Reliability
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10
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6
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Looks/Style
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8
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10
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Total
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95
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80
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To this false and rather anal judgement I added intangible factors such as the possibility of the Buell's belt leaving me stranded halfway up Mt Hotham; crashworthiness (nothing beats a boxer); the almost total lack of parts and services for the Buell (e.g. suspension) which would not be a factor for the BMW, although it has far less to be fixed in any case.
But all that is so much guff. I knew I wanted the R when I chucked it into the bumpiest bends on the Two Ferries run and it ate them up instead of porpoising like the Buell. It's just so good at those lonely back roads to nowhere where I do most of my riding. I know it'll be great touring down to Phillip Island for MotoGP and WSBK.
Finally, I considered how cool it would be for overtaking poorly-ridden Gixxers and Blades.
Imagine their shame.
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| My new PC Desktop |
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| Pretty! |
25th May: First Service
I don't know about you, but when I get a bike I ride the tits off it up front to try and get it run in. Once past the first service, I can hand it the berries large-style.
On the BMW running in was not too much of a trial. Partly because I subscribe to the "Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" school of running in, and partly because the R1200R has so much more power than the Buell did.
One good thing about the Buell was that I never had to take it to a dealer. While claims that the Buell can be serviced with a paperclip and a ball peen hammer may be exaggerated, even a bumbling oaf like me could do the engine and gearbox oils/filter; the clutch adjustment, primary chain adjustment; brake pads; idle adjustment etc. Since the Buell has hydraulic tappets and a single throttle body, there's not much else needs doing for quite some time. (Beware, spark plugs are almost an engine out exercise.)
I fully intended to become intimately familiar with the R1200R. I had already downloaded all kinds of oily advice from grease-stained owners. But I decided to get the first service done by the competent fellows at Procycles. Four hundred and twenty seven dollars it cost me! F&#k a duck! But check out what the Bavarian BMW buggers make you do at 800kms:
- Replace engine oil/filter
- Replace Final Drive oil
- Adjust valves
- Torque cylinder heads
- Adjust fuel mixture
...plus inspecting everything from the brakes to the battery charge rate and my cat flap.
Thank God the next one wasn't until 10,000km. Maybe I'll have a little play myself before then.
And then there's the Conti Attack tyres the big bimmer came with. To set this up, I am not Mick or Dino, but I do ride to the edges of the tyres. One of the key reasons I chose NOT to buy a GS1200 is the 19" front wheel limits the kind of tyres one can fit. I do like good rubber. Until the BMW my tyre of choice was the Metzeler M3. All that said, I like the Contis. They hang in there like good 'uns. Even when you bounce them off the deck in a corner, they get stuck right in when they hit the road again. I can't comment on mileage, but Pete Lucas at Procycles reckons they'll last well. A great tyre to try for the PI MotoGP pilgrimage.
THE OFFICIAL WARDROBES
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| Now Klink has an excuse for not lane-splitting |
One of the things that makes BMW riders so damn smug is the array of well-made, useful kit that your BMW dealer has in stock to improve your riding pleasure. For example, the BMW wardrobes. Yes, yes, I know they prefer to call them panniers, but that really does not do them justice. These things are massive. You can fit the world in there, look:
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These suckers are serious kit. My next trip to Phillip Island is going to be done in stress-free style. With these buggers hitched to my bike I could smuggle illegal immigrants. BMW's typically top quality design means there're no ugly brackets left all over the shop when the wardrobe is removed.
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Wardrobe mounts are unobtrusive |
I am a huge fan of the Ventura racks, which provide many of the BMW wardrobe benefits to all kinds of bikes. I used a Ventura on my old Tuono. However, the Ventura racks are unavoidably ugly being built on, rather than into, the bike's design. The soft Ventura bags are also not so theft resistant as the BMW wardrobes, which lock, and lock onto the bike. They all use the bike's key too.
I know they're not cool and trendy. The BMW wardrobes are just clever and effective.
