LEMON BECOMES CHERRY

by Swifty

Part One -- The Purchase

I bought a used Yamaha R6 some months ago to turn into a dedicated track bike. I have a Yamaha TRX850 (the most under-rated motorcycle of the nineties) and it lacks not only street cred when compared to the latest Yamakawahonduki 1000 but also power.

I live in Victoria. The bike was in Sydney. It was Father's Day 2007, when Mick Hodge kindly took time out to have a Captain Cook at it on my behalf. He was presented with what looked like an honest little 600, as opposed to the slightly suss bloke who was trying to off-load it. This young chap told of stories how he could lap Eastern Creek on a stock CBR600 in 1 minute 40 seconds. He also told Mick that he was very keen to sell it as the "missus to be" wanted a wedding reception that didn't involve a Happy Meal.

So after a little negotiation and the exchange of $3,000 the bike was mine. Now I had to get it across the border to Mexico. Thanks to another mate the bike was stored and duly picked up by Ferguson's Transport and at 7pm on the following Tuesday it was sitting in my garage... looking pretty worse for wear. The wife immediately declared the bike a "lemon", and admittedly I was not too confident that this unpainted motorcycle, sans fairing and looking pretty rough, would get on the track at all. Even the rear pit stand was out of shape. Luckily I had a new one sitting underneath the TRX850.

I spent the next month trying to make some sense of the box of bits that came with the bike and to prove the wife (and my inner self) wrong... that I hadn't just spent three gorillas on a lemon when Coles sell them for $2.59 per kilo.

First job was an attempt to put all the fairing bits on the bike. The seller had kindly placed a billion bolts, nuts, screws and washers into a small plastic box with a clear cover. The clear cover meant you could see what was inside. This didn't help. Those who know me well know I am useless when it comes to tolls and putting stuff back together. Sure I can change the oil and brakes on the TRX, hell I can even rebuild a lawn mower carby (both Victa and Briggs and Stratton) but I am still shit at it and usually palm stuff of to a mechanically minded mate or a mechanic. Sure it will cost me more, but I will be safe in the knowledge that it will be done properly.

So here I was, with my $50 tool kit, a fridge with some beer in it and a young son who thinks his dad is a genius looking on. I put my head down and started. Two hours later I had it all together although another issue had reared its head. The bike wouldn't start. Fucken. I removed the battery and connected it to the only bit of electrical diagnostic equipment I can hand on heart state that I can use: the battery charger. I crossed my fingers that this was all that was wrong

History will show that crossing fingers helps no man, especially one who is lucky to know the difference between a Phillips head and flat head screw driver.