TO RIDE, PERCHANCE TO CAMP

A Soliloquy by Boris Mihailovic

The Coleman Avior X2 tent

The Multi-Fuel Stove

It's a flashlight. You wear it on your head

The Coleman Quickpump

As the world spirals ever so steadily downward into the dark sewer of total economic collapse, it is time for all good men and true to consider their accommodational options whilst traversing this increasingly impoverished continent.

Gone will be the days when we boldly and with glad heart fronted the concierge's desk at the Hyatt and demanded more and better prostitutes, explaining that the last ones sent were now all broken. Just as gone will be the nights when a man could call the Hilton's room service and summon a dozen club sandwiches and a baby bath full of iced Japanese beer at 18 o'clock in the morning after an evening spent hoovering cocaine off the pierced and incredibly flat belly of a stripper called Saffron.

Which is very sad.

But such is the way of the world.

Camping, brothers.

That is what awaits us.

Yes, it will be just like it was when you were young, dumb, full of come and thought $36 a week on the dole was alright -- but much more comfortable.

On a recent sojourn to the west of this continent, I was compelled to camp. Yes, it was a clever marketing ploy, but we do not live in a communist country, so such things are the norm. Anyway, it was an experience made far more enjoyable by the addition of some top-end Coleman camping goodies.

A few weeks later, and no doubt inspired by my drunken late night rantings about how freezing to death sucks big time, and that camping is only made tolerable by technology that staves off hunger, provides warmth, offers shelter and can be transported on a motorcycle because cars are for poofters, losers and serial killers, Coleman produced this Pannier Pack for BIKE ME! to consider.

It was very hard to consider it at length, since all we got were pictures, a move which prompted Al to ask if they would consider giving one of our members one of these packs as a gesture of love, goodwill and general bonhomie. I'm told Coleman is still considering this statement and all that it entails.

While it ponders its position in this regard, I would direct your attention to the products you will see strewn about this article. I have used Coleman stuff and it's always been honest -- it does what it states it's gonna do, and is easy to use or set-up (like their tents) and lasts for yonks provided you look after it.

You may not be able to spend a week on the north face of Everest with it, but you can't get up there on a bike, so it's certainly not worth going to in the first place. BIKE ME!, meet the Coleman Pannier Pack. Coleman Pannier pack, meet BIKE ME!

PS. If they send us the stuff, we'll make sure one of you wins it. Honest. Cross our hearts.


	The Coleman Sleeping Bag		The Hard Anodized Pot Kit

	The Origami set - packs flat...		Eatin' irons

	The Packaway Lithium Lantern. Because we know some of you need your lithium		The Coleman twin air bed. In case you find a pair of twins who want to join you. Bon chance!