MR BALLARD RECOMMENDS...

GEOFF BALLARD KITS OUT BIKE ME! DIRT RUN

The Geoff Ballard people heard that BIKE ME! were riding to Phillip Island on the dirt. And being, as always, helpful, they shipped us a bunch of gear to try out on the way.

That is, two heavy duty front tubes, 3 puncture blow back up kits, a tool bumbag, 3 rear tubes, 3 tube carriers that strap to the front mudguard, 3 waterproof Ballard pouches, under gloves to stop blisters, two heated grip kits, emergency torch, screwdriver and Allen key set, chain breaker, cable repair kit, and some screw on nipples.

Boris started recalling runs of yore where the entire equipment was a barrel of overproof rum and a ball pein hammer. And Mick got straight on the phone to Geoff Ballards and said thanks very much but we try to ride around those sharp things that give you flat tyres and we were just wondering if you had anything that's a bit less flat tyre oriented and a bit more yoghurt oriented?

The next day, a package arrived containing the dogs bollocks Ballard tyre levers, some balm for Boris and Mick, a socket set, a first aid kit, some monkey butt powder for Boris and Mick, a clutch lever assembly, a spark plug spanner, an axle nut spanner, some spare levers, a tyre pressure gauge, a spoke spanner, a nut and bolt kit, some lock wire, a second clutch lever assembly, and a jacket and some enduro pants for Boris.

Well, we admired it all (except for Klink, who appeared to be missing), and we tried to work out how we were going to pack it all (except for Klink, who appeared to be missing), and we went and found Klink, and took the balm and the monkey butt powder off him. And the screw on nipples.

We're looking forward to trying out some of this gear. And we're hoping like hell that we don't have to try out the flat tyre stuff.