SUZUKI BANDIT 1250S

THE V8 POSTIE BIKE

By Andrew "Son of Elvis" McClymont

Look, I'll be honest with you. I've only spent quality time on about a dozen motorcycles. All but four of them were unadulterated sports bikes. Two were dirt bikes, one was a 1958 Harley (oh, the shame - but it was the 80s), the other was my first road bike, a 1981 Honda CB250N. Fabulous. Unfortunately, that fart-powered Honda is the closest class comparison I have to the 2007 Suzuki Bandit 1250S.

So I was somewhat surprised when Boris suggested I take the new Bandit for a ride and write some words about it. I was relieved and gratified too, but that's a story for another time. As a consequence of my relatively lowly bike-slut status, you won't get any serious "It's 50mm shorter than the old model... semi-stacked gearbox... 10 per cent more torsional rigidity... longer swingarm... hard on the redline as I popped the front out of Siberia..." from me. Except for that bit, and we're past that now.

However, I will tell you all what I thought it was like to ride, and which colours look nice.

In Australia, the Suzuki 1250S Bandit is classified as a "sport-tourer", whatever that means. Sport, touring ? two different things in my book, as only one involves luggage.

But first and foremost, at a recommended price of $11990 (plus ORC), cheap is what the Bandit certainly is. In fact, it costs the same amount of money 12 years ago when it was first launched. So, in real terms, it's actually cheaper than it was then.

You get what you pay for, of course, but this is a bargain in anybody's language, including that clicking one from Africa.

ERGONOMICS

All the information one needs...

World's largest 4-1

"The metallic paint, wrong colour notwithstanding, was beautiful..."

The first problem I had was where to sit. I hate bikes that force me into one position, but nearly as bad are those like the undemanding Bandit, that let you sit anywhere you like - facing backwards, next door, up a tree, whatever, it didn't seem to mind.

Ergonomics, obviously, aren't the only criteria by which a motorcycle is selected. And you can always change stuff, like low, forward foot pegs, or in the Bandit's case, seat height - rip out the spacers and drop the height 20mm if you like. Mostly what will get swapped on the Bandit are the handlebars.

Ah, the 'bars. Why are they up around my nipples? The bend didn't suit my wrists either, and apart from being able to scratch my tits and ride simultaneously, I can't really see the point in the "sit up and beg" position. It makes you slouch, you look like your helmet weighs too much, and it's bad for your spine - honestly, ask any physio. Suffice to say the position confused me as I climbed aboard.

"Now then Andy, where's that front wheel?" I found myself asking.

So if I didn't feel connected to the front-end, how the hell was I going to corner it? I felt stupid waving my arms about under my chin like a mountain gorilla. Where did my arse belong? Was I supposed to slide it off the seat?

The tank was certainly shaped very neatly for sticking a bum-cheek out in the air, so initially I settled for a semi-moto style, sliding my knee forwards but not out, my elbows waving around in the slipstream. It is undoubtedly the sort of bike you sit on, rather than hang off. It was weird. All hail me, for I am the king of the lemurs.

The big seat itself was perfectly comfy, although I only spent an hour or so at a time perched on it. Once I had the sitting-down-thing sorted, I was free to explore the actual business of riding the new Bandit. By the way, the "S" is the faired model; allegedly there is a proper naked one, but apparently it's not coming to Australia. Aussie Bandits are just for pooves, then.

It's quite tall, too. The screen is tall, but the motor is tall and the ground clearance is high, which is great for jumping up on gutters to park on footpaths ? not that I would ever do that.

OVERALL

While I'm at it, let's get one other thing straight. People have called the Bandit a "naked bike". It's not. It has a solid upper fairing, for God's sake. The best that could be said is that it is a bottomless bike.

But it embodies the spirit on which the naked bike (and another thing, that's two words, AMCN journos) concept is formed, i.e. the modern version of a big fat bike from the Forgotten Era.

I suppose it's the "Remembered Era" now.

So if bottomless doesn't appeal, you can buy fairing lowers for it. But then you'd be covering up a very nice, titanium-looking, four-into-one pipe. This feeds a HUGE canister, with a tiny one-inch exit hole, surrounded by what looks like a two-inch pipe, but is in fact just a heat exchanger. The bastard gets hot, too - watch your boot heel. This is because the can contains a catalytic converter, so the bike can pass the tough new Euro 3 emission tests. While not having a barking loud noise, the pipe still lets you be heard in traffic.

For the same emission tests, the 2007 Bandit has fuel injection rather than carburettors, albeit with all the other advantages that electronic injection brings. Stuff like better fuel economy, starting, idle, and power. And if you were to accidentally rip off that catalytic 'zorst and replace it with something free-breathing, the injection system will compensate... more or less. And probably less, until you sort it out with a Power Commander.

There's no escaping that exhaust