PIMPING HORNETS

WORDS BORIS MIHAILOVIC
PHOTOGRAPHY ANDREW McCLYMONT

It's a cheeky little red without any breeding, but we think you'll be amused by its presumption...

You would have seen this claret-coloured Hornet on the Honda stand at each of the bike shows and at the MotoGP at Phillip Island this year.

"The rider, as always, is the player"

"...goes exactly like a standard Hornet goes -- i.e quite well..."

It is an interesting concept (and one which several manufacturers seem intent on pursuing of late) this blinging-up of bikes by the people who normally sell them to us to bling up - but as a devoted lover of the customized and personalized bike, I can only applaud their efforts and encourage them to do more of it.

Because that is the only way they're gonna get better at it.

You see, weird shit sometimes happens when corporations begin to play in the province of the individual. Tradition dictates that a single man, the owner of the bike, is the one who pimps it for his own pleasure.

When this pimping is done by a corporation, things can go awry - especially when a lot of pimping is done.

And quite a lot of pimping has been done to this Hornet. You're looking at $10,054 in bling, and then add another chunk for fitting and labour if you're not gonna do it yourself.

The modifications are in a table at the end of this piece, so I will not list them here. I will merely sit in judgement upon their sum total in relation to the Hornet.

The first rule of replacing standard items with aftermarket stuff is a no-brainer. If it works better, is stronger, lighter and looks (albeit subjectively) sexier, then go for it. If it doesn't, you've failed.

This Hornet (which in its standard trim is a very appetising $11,990) now carries more than $10K of bolt-ons - and not one of them addresses the first things that are normally done by an owner - the engine and the suspension.

Sure, the riding possie's a little different thanks to the bars and rear-sets - all quality kit (in fact, all the mods are quality items), but why do all that and leave the motor and the suspension standard? And, horror of horrors, the mirrors are also standard. These are mods that an owner who cared more about form than function would make.

It thus goes exactly like a standard Hornet goes - i.e. quite well, but not in a fashion that would scare you, or thrill you too badly - which is probably why Honda sells so many of them, only being pipped by Suzuki's GSX-1400 in the naked-bike sales figures this year. It is an immensely friendly and easy-going bike to ride and will not demand from you more than you're ready to give.

Does this make it less worthy? Not at all. The rider, as always, is the player - and a good rider on a Hornet can certainly embarrass a lesser rider on a Fireblade.

But I am not sitting in judgement on the Hornet. I am sitting in judgement on THIS Hornet. And I am underwhelmed.

The bling is top-notch. The execution (bar the nasty wiring bundle hanging out under the lights) is likewise top-notch.

The end result, however, appears decidedly underdone. As a showcase of aftermarket bling, the Hornet succeeds. As a complete and well-thought-out custom package, it doesn't.

Shame, really.

But the next time a bike manufacturer wants to throw a lazy $10K around, I'd be pleased to offer my services as a consultant.

ALL DA BLING

WHEELS

Lightfoot Engineering (03 9898 3677) are the people responsible for mating a set of Morad alloy rims to the modified front hub of a Harley-Davidson Narrow Glide and to the modified Talon KTM cush drive on the back. The wheels feature heavy duty spokes and a gloss-black powder-coated finish. They cost $4600, are shod with Michelin Pilot Powers and are a vision splendid.

BRAKES

John Stamnas P/L (07 5447 7411) supplied the Goodridge braided lines which cost $300 for the front and $140 for the rear. The flame-shaped rotors on the front came from NF Importers (02 9704 2800) and cost $400 each. The braided lines would no doubt serve to improve braking performance, but I just didn't get the Hornet to the stage where I noticed this.

EXHAUST

This pair of Moriwaki Zero slip-ons came from the immortal Mick Hone and his bike shop (03 9890 0304), cost $1395, go all rainbowy, and sounded a little strangled to me and far less noisy than I would like from aftermarket cans, the fitting of which removes the pillion pegs.

HANDLEBARS

Serco (1800 625 356) supplied the Pro-Taper Contour Mini-bend bars and the universal handlebar-mounting kit for $180 and $60 respectively.

THE REST

The twin headlight conversion (which did little for me, quite frankly, and left a mare's nest of wires extruded from under the lenses) came from Extreme Creations (www.extremecreations.com.au) and would cost you $695. Then we have a plethora of Valter Moto goodies from Roadrocket (03 9329 7600); like bar-ends ($80), tank-cap bolts ($30); engine bolts ($180); body bolts ($100); billet rear-sets ($600); and all the other little bits and pieces like fork adjusters, oil cap, etc ($150) ? and finally two pairs of LED mini blinkers by Lightech for $150 a pair.





	Clockwise from left: Moriwaki Zero slip-ons; Moto billet rearsets; exhaust splits and cradles shock; Pro-Taper Contour Mini-Bend bars; nasty wiring bundle

"As a showcase of aftermarket bling, the Hornet succeeds"

Mick's Take:

I don't know who's idea it was to cobble stuff together from a pile of parts bins from a factory that is legendary for its well thought out, slickly designed and manufactured goodies.

Maybe there was an enormous pile of frames and engines that needed all the rest of the sexy bits bolted on and it was left up to a blind man... who was drunk... and who had lost the will to live.

And just did not care.

I don't know and I don't care, 'cos it's crap-looking.

And I don't know who would buy one. It's naked and wide barred with twin under seat zorsts, it's old yet new, it's good yet bad, it's a Hornet... and just like Mother Nature, every now and again, will throw up something that doesn't really fit or belong, anywhere... it just is.

Twin under seat pipes which have to have guards all over them because the frame/seat combination was not designed to have the hot noisy bits there and that will make people's legs catch on fire? hmm.
Spoked wheels: its not a dirt bike... but it's got motocross Taper bars. That makes it alright then.
Twin headlamps that neither look good nor work very well: please see Triumph, and while you're at it use aluminium or stainless spacers, these ones rust.
The super sexy tiny lightweight indicators mounted on the most enormous heavy mounts, so enormous they had to make them aerodynamic... and what's the deal with the wiring? Was it done by the same butcher who lopped off the back mudguard in that just oh so sexy unfinished, couldn't find a bigger rougher saw, style?
The lovely rear sets are in the right position for me but maybe not everyone... They're not adjustable... hmmm

Then when you thought you had seen it all, let's grab the clocks off something from the 70's and the mirrors from a CB900F2, then we must be able to find some switchgear that is unsure in which direction it should be pointed or facing?!

Why not make the damping adjusters enormous and painfully obvious they should not be there, who knows how to use screwdrivers and spanners these days anyway?!

I know all of these things are aesthetics and function but who needs to ride it anyway? Well me... and that's where the gripes and moans all end.

The saving grace is the awesome little 929 motor, it is simply delightful and willing to deliver. It's bang on the money, driving hard and producing a glorious power curve that makes the bike just want to pull wheelies all day long.

Honest m'lud.

The trendy wavy discs with four pot calipers haul this slightly porky stuntmobile back down to calmer motions easily and all drama free for the soft squishy bits with springs in that hang around up front.

The wide bar and rear sets, although looking a smidge bizarre, fitted me a treat, and hanging off round corners akin to Eddie Lawson, well it was almost rude not too.

It was fairly economical on fuel, but this could be radically altered by the lack of restraint exercised when unleashing that beaut little 929 donk.

It was comfy to sit on and throw around all day although you'll need to find a supermodel with no legs and an asbestos arse, there are no pillion pegs. Strapping gear on it would also be a noggin fingernail bit of chemistry.

Don't look at it, just ride it, and all shall be rewarded. Somewhere, by someone, somehow.